Every New Thing is a Good Thing- Forget Comparisons

The recent death of a close family friend not only brought me to a moment of retrospection but his death has awaken something in me. To see the outpouring of love for a young man was truly heart warming and it felt good to know that I had the opportunity to not just meet this persons but to also be touched by him. This reflection then led me to think about my life and the impact that I have had on those around me. It brought me to a movement of self-assessment and it is within that moment I realized the importance of eliminating comparisons in life.

I must admit, I instantly felt a level of sadness that can not be described, I actually tried to imagine if I were to die, would I receive the same outpouring of love. I questioned, whether my friends would grieve over my death and even tried to guess how my family would react and then I caught myself. I realized that the thought in itself was not only depressing but did not add value in anyway to my life.
Rather than comparing, instead, over the last few days, I have used this time of reflection to celebrate my accomplishments. I looked at my vision paper (because vision boards are not realistic for every day life), reflected on what I have accomplished and identified new goals to knock down.

In today's world where social media consumes most of our lives, comparing ourselves to others often times leave us in a state of depression. We want what we see other people posting. Everything is #goals and without knowing how they have achieved these things, we interrupt our daily lives to be just like them. Comparison is the thief of joy and despite what you see people posting, there is always a back story. Live your best life the way you know how. Enjoy your journey and watch the beauty of life unfold in such a way that not only will you experience authentic happiness but your happiness can transfer to those around you.

Living life authentically,
Keiani :)

5 Things #Girlboss Taught Me

Nothing gets me more excited than when I receive a notification from Netflix on new releases. I got the notification for #Girlboss about two weeks ago. I started watching it but for whatever reason, never made it beyond episode one. Last weekend, recovering from a champagne hangover and enjoying the island breeze, I started the series from the beginning and was so inspired by Nasty Gal's founder Sophia Amoruso. Not only is she a super cool #girlboss but she goes through some real life moments that has inspired me to do things a lot little different. The realness in the lessons taught in each episode bring the perfect insight on life as a #girlboss. Some of my favorites include:

Your Word is Your Bond
From the very beginning of the show, Sophia promised to deliver a wedding dress to a bride. She was able to put the dress in the cleaners and was promised a completion date with enough time to spare to have the dress to the bride in time. When she picked it up, she got the surprise that jewels from the dress had to be replaced. Without sharing all the details of the episode, time was limited and a lot of distractions; BUT despite being wasted, afraid of bridges and having no ride, she got the dress to the bride in time (well barely).


Competition Breeds Creativity
A couple episodes in, Sophia realized that sales were slowing down, trying to determine the best way to get things back on track, she identified her biggest competitor. After researching the company and items sold, she decided to purchase the long pants that were a hit with the competitors cut. She purchased the pants cut and style them differently, then posted it for twice the price she paid, pure genius! Needless to say, things began looking up again, go #girlboss.

Never Forget Your Tribe
You know the kind of friend that would turn down a promotion and quit a job to help you to reach a goal? That was the kind of best friend that Sophia had, but could not appreciate once Nasty Gal became "big". Despite her being there for Sophia as a personal assistant, stylist, and all the in between, when she asked to be hired by Nasty Gal, she got the biggest slap in the face and dismal from Sophia. Sophia only realized the impact her bestie made to the business and her life as a whole after she was gone. Luckily, a few episodes later, they reconciled and all was well with the world again.


There are so many other lessons I got from the first season that I binged watch like "don't allow bum boyfriends to dull your moment" or drugs is scary, bottom line, but that would take forever to get into. I love the truth and story told in this series as it reveals the not so glamorous elements of being a girl boss. Have you had a chance to check it out? What's your favorite lesson?


xoxo,

Girlboss to Be

It Gets Better

Ok so if you haven't had a chance to catch up on the blog, here's a recap of what you missed. I'm officially 30, read about that here and I am now living in Turks & Caicos Islands with major separation anxiety. Each day gets easier but there are still those moments, particularly in the evening time, when I would typically hear the exciting stories of kindergarten from my daughter as we eat and prepare for the following day. Funny how we take for granted the moments that help to create happiness.

Be that as it may, I'm slowly developing a routine that consists of work, walking my dog ( best decision yet ), crossfit and then a nice glass of wine (for the purpose of work and learning of course). In addition to this routine, my every day "going and coming" has played a big role, not to mention my family and friends who continue to include me in everything as if I was there, namely:

1. Evening video calls with my daughter! From what she's had for lunch, to the new kids she has met at her Easter camp, to the minute by minute run down of her doctor visit, our evening recaps keeps things as close to normal as they can be in this moment.
    
2. Whatsapp Groups I swear to you I have at least 25 Whatsapp groups on my phone. Luckily, I've been able to switch to my new local number and decide which groups I wanted to take with me (blessing in disguise). Birthday celebrations, births, deaths and even politics in The Bahamas, I haven't missed a beat!
   
3. Whatsapp Calls I'm actually embarrassed to type this because the hatred I had for Whatsapp calls has turned into a love story. To be able to pick up the phone and have a conversation for hours without worrying about a bill is a blessing that cant be compared.

Things are looking up. I am a little less anxious and actual smiled this morning at what's to come. The laid back island life is ideal for raising kids, saving money and enjoying the moments. Challenge accepted. 

Signed, 

Counting Down the Months to Adaya's Arrival

Adulting 101: Separation Anxiety

It's been a while since I've posted. In fact, since my post on 30 things to do before 30; life has changed drastically for me; so much so, I am living in an entirely new country! Crazy isn't it. Shortly after my 30th birthday, I received a job offer from a major distributor in Turks & Caicos Islands. Initially, I turned down the offer. At that point, in my mind, there was no amount of money that would convince me to leave my family. After some deliberation, visiting the small island and seeing the possibility of starting new, I accepted the offer.

Fast forward a few months later, here I am, new job, new home, new life; and while its extremely exciting, there are these emotions that I have been feeling and can not seem to shake.The biggest of all being coping with separation from my daughter. See, I made the decision to leave my daughter back home with our family until school is done, so as to not interrupt her learning or pressure her with culture shock during the school year.

I never quite understood the emotional strain of separation anxiety until this week and I thank all you bloggers who've helped me during this unique experience. This is not easy but there are a few things that have kept me sane during the transition:

1. Knowing this is just short term: school closes for my daughter early June. When you think about it, I only have about 2 months of separation; keeping this in mind; coping has been easier.
   
2. This is for the better: honestly, if I had moved with my daughter ( and my dog) all at once, have to figure out schooling and start a new job all by myself ( the joys of single parenting), I think I would have given up. It's simply too much. During this time, I am able to sort out my new routine, confirm schools for her and create a home she can find comfort in once she arrives.
   
3. Talk about my feelings: this has been the most difficult. I am not big on sharing my feelings with others. I talk about everything except how I feel. Fortunately, I have a few great friends who I can discuss even the craziest of things with and they have been instrumental in calming my nerves and bringing me back to reality. 

The best thing about all of this is that I have connected with an amazing family who has made the hassle of moving much easier. They are loving and accommodating plus they feed me! Couldn't ask for anything better. So I am here, starting a new and enjoying every new day.

Have you moved to a new country, or done anything life changing without your kids, what things did you do to cope?


Until next time,
Bahama Mama now in TCI!

Trying Something Different

I am not afraid to do-over. In fact, I am the girl who starts a new diet every Monday, breaks it by Thursday and starts all over again the following Monday; and in my mind, this is okay. In my twenties, I went SUPER hard on myself. If ever I had a goal, that I did not accomplish within the desired timeline, I would talk down to myself and continue to wallow in my "girl you suck" non-sense; and then I turned thirty.

I don't know what it is, but there's something magical about getting older. Maybe its the wisdom from life's lessons (those I experienced and those I lived vicariously through others) or maybe its because of some fictional "don't care dust" that is sprinkled over your life on the 30th birthday, whatever it is I like it; I like it a lot.

2017 has been moving so fast, I've barely been able to keep up; so much so, that I have completely missed the opportunity to start/ finish this year's vision board. My initial reaction was to panic, run to the nearest craft store, buy all the cutesy stationery and complete it this past weekend. But instead, I spent the weekend eating cake, celebrating my sister's pregnancy and enjoying time with love ones; a weekend that, in retrospect, seems a lot more fulfilling than glue stuck on my elbows and glitter in my hair! Which brings me to this moment, for years I have completed vision boards, attending resolution planning events and have done just about everything possible in the name of "self-help".These were all great at that time but rarely produced results once the activity was completed.In fact, I do not think I ever looked back at any of the vision boards after March; sad right?

This year, I am trying something different (and loving the results of it)! Rather than one-time goal setting, each week I remind myself of the life I want ( write it down!) with actionable objectives to achieve the goal. At the end of the week, I recap what has been accomplished, what was missed and how to improve the follow week ( it's truly that simply).

I am honestly amazed at what I have accomplished thus far using this new approach to making life great. I have never felt so productive in my adult life.  Fluff is good, productivity is even better (Tweetable). Commit this year to accomplishing goals; not just creating them. Remind yourself daily of what it is you want and actively pursue that thing. Put aside the big picture, break it down to achievable and doable items and tackle them each day. It's a new month to kick some butt; I'm routing for you! 

xoxo,
The 30yo Mom

Lessons from a 4- Year Old

Ok, so I have to be honest and admit that my greatest moments in life happened only after having my kid. It's like becoming a mother gave me a clean slate to start a new life ( and boy did I need it!) Each year as my daughter gets older, I find new ways to appreciate her. She's four now and to be honest, what I am learning each day from her, is truly profound. Here are a few lessons I am currently learning from my chocolate drop:

Good Memory Matters
You want to test the memory of a four year old? Promise them candy, cake or ice-cream. Often times I make promises with my daughter that I have no intention of keeping, but I know that it will get her to do what I want for that moment. Wait. Don't get excited just yet; it comes back to haunt you; and most times its in a MAJOR way! To this day I owe her a cupcake, a popsicle, and a trip to the candy store.
Side note: I promise to fulfill these at some point. For real.

Holding Grudges is for the Birds
The best thing I love about my daughter's love for me is that its truly unconditional. We disagree, she cries, we talk and then we are back at it (selfies in the parking lot)! Can you imagine every relationship being this way?! The fact that she can be disciplined for bad behavior and still run to give me a hug and kiss just makes my day!

Food is NOT  that Important
I don't know about you but if I'm not eating every two hours of the day, you can find me somewhere passed out wondering when the next meal will come.  Food is my everything (and can possibly explain my current size).  However, let's face it, food  as often as we adults consume, isn't a requirement. If she can go 5-hours with just water and some fruit, ruling the playground, who am I?

Please and Thank You are the Magic Words
You know how when you get older you sometimes forget your manners aka you are rude. My daughter never allows me to forget the magic words. Like ever! While I get annoyed when she finds the most inappropriate times to correct me (usually in front of others). its so refreshing to have the constant reminder that manners matters and saying kind words are important!

The lessons I am learning and reminded of from my four year old are timely reminders that there is growth in every thing we do. The way she articulates her thoughts are out of this world and I am eager to see what the years ahead would bring.

Here's to lessons from my 4- year old!

Weekend Rant: Raising Mini Me

Do you ever get to a place with your kids where you despise what they are doing then you stop and realize that its exactly what you do, ALL THE TIME? UGhhhh! I can not tell you the amount of times I want to scream when I see my daughter doing the same nonsense I was disciplined for as a child. It's like she is my exact replica and while for some parents that may be a sigh of relief, Im holding my breathe because I know I am in for a ride and a complex one at that!

Here's to a great weekend from our home to yours!
 

It's Going to be Different this Time Around

I'm honestly so stoked to be back to my laptop. Stalking blogs, connecting with new bloggers, indulging in the hours of stress free bliss surfing the interwebs. And while I am excited to be back, I am also a bit nervous. This time, I want to be different! I want to be original, authentic and me. The real me. The me that cries some mornings because I am overwhelmed by the amount of things that I am responsible for doing. The me that sometimes finishes two bottles of Jacob's Creek Chardonnay on my own. The me that lets my daughter eat popsicles for breakfast some times, just so that I can have a break sans the whining. This time its going to be different.

I've always been a lover of quotes, especially those ones that leave you feeling like a decision must be made. Last week in my boss's farewell speech he made the statement "change is painful, failure is painful; its up to us to choose our pain". Change is hard, its uncomfortable and for many it can be painful. But the benefits of changing the way you do things to a process that is more efficient and more effective goes beyond the pain you would experience.

That being said. I promise to change and get uncomfortable and make the rest of my life the best of my life and I encourage you to do the same.


Happy Sunday!
Ms. Jazzy

Back to Blogging

Three years ago, I discovered the power of blogging; not only is it a great way to connect with persons beyond my direct circle, but it is the ultimate solution to chronicling life's memorable moments. From the birth of a kid to grad school problems, blogging has been the outlet that I've used to make the best of each day, while living out loud!

In finalizing my decision to get back to it, a few thoughts came to mind. Should I reformat my former blog and build from it? Should I start a new? What would my blog be about? How many times will I write? What is the blog's purpose? (Yup, this time Imma do it big!) So after months of deliberation, I decided that starting a new would be my best decision! Why? Because, I want my now to be reflected now not on who I was before.

That being said, Welcome to the blog! Here, I promise to give content that is real, inspiring and authentically me! There's going to be honesty (the good and bad kind), wine, Adaya and lots of Adaya and the many unique experiences that I have as I journey through life as a Jazzy Mom!

So put your feet up, grab a glass and let's connect, one blog post at a time.


Anni,
The Jazzy Mom