All Settled In: Chocolate Drop Arrives

Great news, my chocolate drop is on island! It is her third week here and despite some emotional challenges, she seem to be settling in just fine.

Reunited and it feels so good!

Her initial excitement quickly faded once grammy and papa left to go back to The Bahamas and the idea of them not being a car ride away seemed to hit her hard and to be honest, I get it!  To begin with, I gave our dog Chocolate Chip to a loving family at church for a number of reasons: 1. I really didn't give him the love and attention he needed, 2. I hated coming home to clean up after a dog at 7pm in the night 3. Honestly, it was just time. Chocolate Chip has been gone for about 5 weeks and although I miss him, I did not miss any of the ripped pillows, poop and other joys associated with a dog that's never been trained (despite me pretending like he was). I hadn't explained the adoption to Adaya prior to her arrival, so ofcourse once she got here and realize the dog was gone, all hell broke lose, "Mommy, I don't have any of my family, now I don't even have my dog, why would you do this?!" EPIC FAIL MOM!

Chocolate Chip

Beyond that, her resilience and bravery throughout this transition has been admirable. She handled being in Nassau without me like a true champ and even on the nights when I tried my hardest to hold back tears she always said to me " Mommy don't worry, I soon reach". Seriously, how could you not love this kid?!

Do I look bothered?

So she's here, settled in, has already became a Junior Member of the Turks & Caicos National Trust, started a mini garden (which I may or may not ruin because it's attracting too many insects), became a beach bum and is truly enjoying island life! Have you and your kids experienced a transition? How are they coping? What is the most difficult part of transitioning?

Until Next Time,
One Jazzy Mom and her little munchkin

It Gets Better

Ok so if you haven't had a chance to catch up on the blog, here's a recap of what you missed. I'm officially 30, read about that here and I am now living in Turks & Caicos Islands with major separation anxiety. Each day gets easier but there are still those moments, particularly in the evening time, when I would typically hear the exciting stories of kindergarten from my daughter as we eat and prepare for the following day. Funny how we take for granted the moments that help to create happiness.

Be that as it may, I'm slowly developing a routine that consists of work, walking my dog ( best decision yet ), crossfit and then a nice glass of wine (for the purpose of work and learning of course). In addition to this routine, my every day "going and coming" has played a big role, not to mention my family and friends who continue to include me in everything as if I was there, namely:

1. Evening video calls with my daughter! From what she's had for lunch, to the new kids she has met at her Easter camp, to the minute by minute run down of her doctor visit, our evening recaps keeps things as close to normal as they can be in this moment.
    
2. Whatsapp Groups I swear to you I have at least 25 Whatsapp groups on my phone. Luckily, I've been able to switch to my new local number and decide which groups I wanted to take with me (blessing in disguise). Birthday celebrations, births, deaths and even politics in The Bahamas, I haven't missed a beat!
   
3. Whatsapp Calls I'm actually embarrassed to type this because the hatred I had for Whatsapp calls has turned into a love story. To be able to pick up the phone and have a conversation for hours without worrying about a bill is a blessing that cant be compared.

Things are looking up. I am a little less anxious and actual smiled this morning at what's to come. The laid back island life is ideal for raising kids, saving money and enjoying the moments. Challenge accepted. 

Signed, 

Counting Down the Months to Adaya's Arrival

Trying Something Different

I am not afraid to do-over. In fact, I am the girl who starts a new diet every Monday, breaks it by Thursday and starts all over again the following Monday; and in my mind, this is okay. In my twenties, I went SUPER hard on myself. If ever I had a goal, that I did not accomplish within the desired timeline, I would talk down to myself and continue to wallow in my "girl you suck" non-sense; and then I turned thirty.

I don't know what it is, but there's something magical about getting older. Maybe its the wisdom from life's lessons (those I experienced and those I lived vicariously through others) or maybe its because of some fictional "don't care dust" that is sprinkled over your life on the 30th birthday, whatever it is I like it; I like it a lot.

2017 has been moving so fast, I've barely been able to keep up; so much so, that I have completely missed the opportunity to start/ finish this year's vision board. My initial reaction was to panic, run to the nearest craft store, buy all the cutesy stationery and complete it this past weekend. But instead, I spent the weekend eating cake, celebrating my sister's pregnancy and enjoying time with love ones; a weekend that, in retrospect, seems a lot more fulfilling than glue stuck on my elbows and glitter in my hair! Which brings me to this moment, for years I have completed vision boards, attending resolution planning events and have done just about everything possible in the name of "self-help".These were all great at that time but rarely produced results once the activity was completed.In fact, I do not think I ever looked back at any of the vision boards after March; sad right?

This year, I am trying something different (and loving the results of it)! Rather than one-time goal setting, each week I remind myself of the life I want ( write it down!) with actionable objectives to achieve the goal. At the end of the week, I recap what has been accomplished, what was missed and how to improve the follow week ( it's truly that simply).

I am honestly amazed at what I have accomplished thus far using this new approach to making life great. I have never felt so productive in my adult life.  Fluff is good, productivity is even better (Tweetable). Commit this year to accomplishing goals; not just creating them. Remind yourself daily of what it is you want and actively pursue that thing. Put aside the big picture, break it down to achievable and doable items and tackle them each day. It's a new month to kick some butt; I'm routing for you! 

xoxo,
The 30yo Mom

Straight Talk: Tips for Strategically Lying to Your Kids

I confess, I am a mother who lies to her kid. Don't get me wrong, I am not teaching my child to tell lies; BUT, as a mother, I understand the importance of stretching the truth and empty promises. In fact, the only way to make it through almost any day is to lie to my daughter. From the treat she'll receive  only if she eats her breakfast, to the promise to go by her grandmother's house if she takes a nap. Lying is essential to parenthood (and if you do not agree, wait until your daughter/son is 4 years old).

I admit, I Lie. 

The thing about lying to your kids however; is that, for it to work, the lie has to be strategic. Recently I got burned when I promised my now almost 5 year old that if she doesn't eat her dinner, we wouldn't go to Disney World.From this conversation i quickly realized that lying is great but it has to make sense and it has to be desirable.Here are some useful lies, that will get your toddler to do what they should be doing without effort:

1. You can stay up and watch TV: If your child is anything like mine, they have a set bed time and no matter how much they try to stay up, whether its to play, watch TV or just be a nuisance, once the clock strikes 8pm; she's out like a light.
   
2. You can go by Grammy: My family tradition is that all the children and grands gather by my parents on a Sunday afternoon to hang out, eat lunch and enjoy each other's company. Its a weekly staple. So ofcourse, naturally, I would say to her "if you don't clean up your toys we wont go by Grammy Cindy today" and then magically my place looks like new.
   
3. If you eat all of your food, we will go to Disney World: This is a golden ticket that has worked for years, until recently. Every kid wants to go to Disney World some day (thanks Disney for corrupting the kids), and for almost a year I have gotten my daughter to do just about anything with the assumption that for her birthday she would go to Disney World. About a month ago, she and I took a "School's Out" quick trip to Orlando. While there, I discovered that it made no sense taking her to Disney World because she isn't tall enough to go on most of the rides. Instead, we went to the  +Crayola Experience, Orlando FL and had ourselves a blast. When we were done at Crayola, she still needed the Disney experience. Unfortunately, I had to break the news to her that she was not tall enough for most of the rides so going did not make sense. Fast forward to last weekend. Here's how the conversation went: 

Me: Day eat your food please.

Her: Mommy I don't want anymore (after a bite)

Me: If you do not eat I am not taking you to Disney World for your birthday

Her: Mommy that's ok, I am too small for the rides anyway. So I can throw this away since I can not go? 

Me: (What in the .......) That is why you are too small, because you do not eat when you should and its going to result in you not growing and you would never get to Disney World. 

Her: That's ok mommy, I will be a small woman like you. 

Me: (where the hell is my wine) 

Long story short, you have to be strategic with your lies and ensure that they are smart, relevant and time sensitive. Otherwise you will be caught in a jam and reaching for a bottle of wine like me.

What lies (fibs) do you tell to get your kids to fall in line?

Sincerely,
That Jazzy Mom